How to Use Alarm Clocks

1. When choosing an alarm clock, choose a retardedly loud one whenever possible.

2. Position it where you can’t reach it and turn it off without getting up from bed.

3. If you can find one, choose one that alarms at the time you set and alarms again 5 minutes after you turn it off

4. Fasten the alarm clock to the position you put it in (away from the bed) so that you can’t bring it with you back to bed

5. Find one with a radio. The DJs are just intolerable in the morning.

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