How to Get Family and Friends to Help You Wake Up

1. Ask a friend to call you on the cellphone in the morning. Pay for whatever the call costs. It works wonders.

2. Use a really loud alarm clock so that whoever you’re sleeping with will fucking curse you and whoever is in the other room will bang your door down to make you shut it up.

3. Kids are natural alarm clocks. Ask your kids to mess with you when they wake up in the morning.

4. Ask your roommates to wake you up when they do. Promise to make them eggs in exchange.

5. Ask your mom to call you in the morning. She’ll love it.