1. Procrastinating

Procrastinators are notorious for running away from problems that never solve themselves. If an issue is stressing you out now, imagine how much worse it can make you feel after a year when left to itself.

2. Waiting for the Perfect Solution

There is no magic elixir and there is no spoon. There is no super cure that will fix everything in your life. There is no genie that will come along and give you all the solutions for your ills. You need to make do with the resources you can muster right now. Amazingly, when you resolve to handle things this way, you will realize those resources are all you really needed anyway.

3. Worrying About Things Outside Your Control

If it’s not within your abilities to do something about it right now, then accept it. Focus on things you can make an impact on. Check the rest out of the corner of one eye and act when it’s within your reach. Think globally, act locally.

4. Finding Blame
When you look for people to put the blame on, you waste unnecessary energy you can instead invest on finding solutions. If someone is to blame, it is apparent at the onset. Accept it, avoid that person in the future, but keep your present in problem-solving mode.

5. Unhealthy Lifestyle

All the alcohol, drugs and cigarettes that are promoted as stress relievers actually stress your body more while never doing anything tangible for the issues at hand. It’s escapism at its finest - a quick fix to keep someone’s pockets fat!

6. Keeping Secrets

Introverted people are notorious for keeping problems to themselves. While its a good strategy for keeping a problem within finite boundaries, it’s also doubly hard feeling like you need to go through your problems alone. It doesn’t hurt to tell someone without wanting anything from them.

7. Blaming Yourself

Like finding blame in others, there’s no use dwelling on blame even if it’s on yourself. Cursing at yourself and going over and over your mistakes has never been a good strategy for solving anything. In fact, it only makes matters worse because it can easily lead to depression and self-loathing. Keep your eyes on what can be done, never on what has happened.

8. Refusing to Lose a Battle

It’s ok to surrender to your problems sometimes. There’s a lot of value in accepting defeat once then getting back up on your feet to win the war.

Technorati Tags: stress

I recently posted about Weird Self-Help techniques where I included Neil Slade’s amygdala clicking process. A couple guys emailed me for more information on how I do it.

I started it by simply following Neil’s advice. Look at Neil’s diagram or a brain anatomy textbook and find where the amygdala is located. Then simply visualize where it is on your head and imagine puhing it backwards and then forwards with a pencil. After doing this enough times, you can get a good sensation of how it feels to push forwards and backwards. After the first hour of doing it, I can click it forward easily without any visualization, feeling all the exact same sensations, by just moving it like I move a muscle.

Many times, when I’m feeling a bit confused or stress, I’ll just click it forward, close my eyes and allow myself to feel a great sensation, like sinking into a meditative state.

I often click forwards when I’m doing concentrated work. I found it helps my focus a whole lot.

When I meditate or do image-streaming, I always click forwards. It’s one of the most simple yet highly useful hacks to quickly improve your meditative state and increase the quality of your visualization.

Neil Slade makes many promises about the benefits of amygdala-clicking. Whether he is right, delusional or it’s all marketing copy like some editors at Wikipedia seem to believe, the technique is one of the most helpful, simple and practical self-help tricks I’ve ever used.

Technorati Tags: amygdala, techniques

One problem with self-help is a lot of them are just plain too weird. The reality for most of us is we’re co-existing with people we love and care for and, while doing odd things that challenge the norm is healthy both in the short and long runs, being too weird is just a recipe for disaster.

Over the years, I’ve tried a lot of personal development tools. Some of them were simple and straightforward. Some were mystical and otherworldly. Others were just unique and strange. Here’s a list of some of the wildest ones. A few of them gave me some results, others none, and some, I continue to use (sometimes unconsciously) to this day.

1. Amygdala Clicking

This one, I still use to this day. This predicates on the scientific theory that the amygdala controls the flight or fight instincts in mammals. The amygdala is a part of the brain located on both sides of the frontal lobes, a little above the base of the ears. When clicked backwards (scientifically validated), it triggers the body’s “fight or flight” mechanism. When clicked forward (the theory goes), it triggers states of joy and creativity and allows access to untapped resources of the brain.

The technique is pioneered by T.A. Lingo and documented in products from Neil Slade. While I cannot vouch for the validity of the technique (or the history and science behind it, for that matter), I can vouch for the positive things it does for me. I notice now, in times of concentrated efforts and focus, my amygdala clicks fully forward and locks there for a few minutes at least. When I’m feeling ill or down, I consciously do the clicking and my focus usually changes and my mood begins shifting a little.

You can check out Neil Slade’s site for a few free articles and the guide on how to click it forward. It was actually quite easy for me when I first tried it two or so years ago and you can literally feel it in your head.

2. “Multiple Self ” Self-Image Exercise

In this one, you imagine your image appearing everywhere. Like, everyone around you is you. There’s two of you behind you, three of you in front, and several dozen of you falling gently from the sky. The idea is to improve your presence (by taking so much space) and get used to seeing yourself doing different activities. I really liked it a lot.

3. Physical Angles

This one courtesy of the pick-up artists from Fast Seduction. When you’re beginning conversation with anyone, whether alone or a group, angle your body away from them. You can keep your head facing them, even give eye contact, but angle your body away. This sets you up as the less needy party, as your posture suggests a readiness to walk away at any time.

While this is weird and a little freaky, it works amazingly well. Additional variations include angling your body away when the other person starts exhibiting behavior you don’t like, turning your back completely while staying in the conversation, and angling away when you’re speaking dismissively.

4. Intending During Orgasm

An old book I studied by Margo Anand taught stating your intentions for manifestation during that peak point while making love. The idea is, during orgasm, you reach a peak meditative state, your mind is clear and your heart is wide open. In such conditions, sending out your intentions makes them more likely to manifest. I did try it a few times but found sex a bit too weird with it. I am almost 100% convinced it works, even though I’ve never successfully done it. I’d love to hear from people who have done it, though.

5. Stop It! Stop It!

This is one of those short and simple Richard Bandler recommendations. I never really got the hang of it since i never liked being mean, even to the thoughts in my head. Everytime you have a thought pass your mind that you don’t want, just fucking scream at it in your head. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” If you’re in the mood, take it even further, “Stop it, you motherfucker!” LOL!

6. NLP Pattern Language

While this isn’t exactly as weird as the others, for me, it’s one of the most amazing things ever concocted. When I first read about them, I always thought they were conversational hypnosis intended to influence whoever was listening to the languaging. I don’t know if you’ve ever read samples of them but they are really fun and sound so weird to recite during regular conversation.

Once I tried them, it turns out it works a bit more obliquely than that. It’s supposed to influence me which drops me into the target state which would then prompt whoever I was interacting with to mirror the same state. It was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had about relating with people. When I want to create a positive interaction, all I have to do is go into my desired state and, most of the time, those around me will follow suit.

7. Mantak Chia (Male Multiple Orgasm, etc)

Dude, that thing takes so much discipline and reads so cryptic I have no idea how you can enjoy the fucking sex without distancing yourself from what’s in the moment. But maybe that’s just me, Mr. Quickie!

8. Remote Seduction

This is one of those weird stuff that you read and you think to yourself, “This is fucking stupid and totally inefficient.” Yet something gnaws at you to try it anyway. Then when you try it, you realize it’s actually really stupid and inefficient that you don’t want to admit you ever did it.

The system includes a lot of magick-based visualization and rituals and well, I don’t want to admit I ever did it, all I got to say.

9. Write it Till Your Hands Bleed

I read a book from around 4 years ago by Stuart Lichtman and Joe Vitale which presented a manifestation system. A large part of the system involved writing down your intentions a thousand times, readng it to yourself then editing it and writing the edited version a thousand times more. It became one of the most painful exercises I ever fucking went through, my hand hurt like shit. I got so freaking tired of the whole exercise that I couldn’t care less how my intentions went, I just wanted to be done with the fucking weirdness of it.

I never enjoyed that process and I doubt I ever will. I respect both those guys and what they tried to impart ( it was a good book with great bonuses as well) so thank you for the music but that song just ain’t for me.

10. Jacking Off Without Ejaculating

Some dudes from a forum suggested not ejaculating because it keeps your masculine energy and does not deplete you. It’s from some man-centered guide (I don’t wanna name it because I didn’t actually read it but A LOT of people think it’s great.) The only thing it’s done for me is act like a natural viagra. I get hard so fucking fast. Then I just do my world-famous breathing and relaxing to last a decent fuck. Arrrrrr!

Technorati Tags: self-help, quirky