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Drive Traffic to Your Bedroom

Saturday 10 June 2006 @ 3:39 am

We all want to have a great lovelife. Some of us want to share our lives with someone special. Others want to share our lives with everyone special.

If you belong to the second group, this post is for you. Just like you can drivevenus alien laser  stun traffic to your websites, you can drive women to your bedroom with a little marketing, good content and some common sense. Here are 7 basic guidelines to help you drive more traffic into your bedroom.

  1. The amount of women you fuck is directly proportional to the amount of women you hit on. If you don’t hit on a lot of chicks, you don’t fuck a lot of chicks. Much success in different areas can be attributed to playing a numbers game and that includes success with many women too.
  2. Stop wasting time with women you just don’t click with. If she disses you, let her be and move on. Sure, some guys can charm the panties off girls that act like barbie dolls initially, but why bother? For every girl that you don’t click with, there’s one that you do click with, and pursuing the latter is a much more solid use of your time.
  3. The scarcity mentality never made anyone wealthy. The same holds true with women. There are more women than you and your ten best friends can ever fuck in this lifetime. No use getting hung up on a single one that gives you trouble. Move on and fuck some more.
  4. Don’t be afraid to say, “I love you.” Love all women you fuck even if it’s just temporary. Like fall fucking in love with them right there and then. Chicks love all that love stuff, even though you both know in your guts you don’t even wanna see each other tomorrow.
  5. How to know if a woman likes you: If you hit on her and she hasn’t left yet or threatened to call the police, she likes you, regardless of what your socially conditioned mind tells you. As long as she’s not leaving, keep persisting. Eventually, she will either give in or bitch you out. When she bitches out, do #2.
  6. Always ask if she wants to come by your house to watch some dvd’s or have some coffee. Some guys go and throw money on these expensive dates and when the time comes, they just drop her off at her place without even trying. Even when she says no, she WILL respect you for trying. All chicks know you are trying to get in their pants. Don’t hide it.
  7. Use all tools at your disposal. If you have a hot ride, flash it. If your brother’s a rock star, flaunt it. If she’s of drinking age, serve alcohol and have drunken sex. If you have lots of money, fucking live in style and make them drool. Chicks will fuck you for many varied reasons and you don’t know which one exactly it’s gonna be for any particular moment so use everything at your disposal.

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The Simple Solution to Premature Ejaculation

Wednesday 7 June 2006 @ 2:35 am

I used to have a bad habit during sex. During the first round of sex for the day, especially if the girl is really good and knows what she’s doing, I come too early. Most of the time, it was a minute. Sometimes, even less. I remember ejaculating once at 26 seconds. Freaking amazing!

I usually got hard again after a few minutes and can fuck for a longer while after thatStop tension so it wasn’t much of an issue, other than a minor, albeit, embarassing inconvenience.

I’ve tried desensitizers but they didn’t work, mostly because the issue wasn’t that my penis was too sensitive. I tried thinking about baseball (like many advise) but I end up getting turned off and I can’t imagine thinking of baseball during sex the rest of my life.

What eventually worked was a slow process of discovering how and when I came to the point of ejaculating. I figured the first part out during masturbation. When I wanted to finish quick, I tensed from the buttocks down to my feet. So the next time I had sex, I avoided tensing my buttocks and my legs.

It worked! I stayed longer!

I used to hate being at the bottom but eventually gave in because it allowed me to relax my butt and legs for a longer time. Problem came when I went on top because, then, I had less control of my muscles contracting but I still stayed much longer than my usual minute-mark.

I then read an old online article about how the abdominal muscles and butt muscles are the two areas that massively tense during orgasm. So apart from the buttocks and legs, I started focusing on relaxing my abs too.

While focusing on the abs, it’s impossible not to discover that the best way to relax it is to just breathe deeply. And for some reason, this relaxes the buttocks too. Thus, the quick, cheap and easy solution for premature ejaculation: learn to relax your abs and buttocks by breathing deeply.

Nowadays, I can go anywhere between 8 to 20 minutes on the first round, depending on how soon I let myself ejaculate. I still feel the orgasm a lot earlier during the first fuck, but I am able to keep it at bay just by consciously breathing and relaxing. While it does take some of the fun away at the start, it sure beats being a 30-second superstar!

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How to Fuck Virgins Like Pillaging a Village

Saturday 3 June 2006 @ 10:31 am

How to Fuck VirginsFucking virgins is time-consuming and can take an entire day unless you are willing to act like ancient savages pillaging a village. So in this article, I will teach you how to simulate being an ancient savage pillaging a village while being sensitive and caring at the same time.

Preparation
1. Let go of any expectations to enjoy the sex
2. Let go of any expectations that she will enjoy the sex
3. Make sure your dick is super hard - like don’t be drunk or sleepy. If you are, use a suction pump or, worst case, 12.5 grams of Pfizer Viagra (more if you’re over 50 years of age)

Consummation
1. Wash her pussy. Make sure it’s clean.
2. Eat her out. Get her very wet.
3. For security purposes, put on some KY Jelly, in case it’s not slippery enough in there
4. Stick it in. When she cringes (from pain or from one of her weird virgin thoughts,) pinch her in the arm, and stick it in further, just like when the doctor gives a tetanus shot
5. Say “I love you…arrrrr….,” over and over. From this point on, stop looking at her face and just keep saying “I love you….arrr….”
6. Get to about halfway then just hold it there
7. Pull it out, pinch her arm and stick it in again, only going halfway same as last time, then release the pinch
8. Repeat #7 for several strokes
9. Every 10 strokes, look at her face, see if she’s still doing the agonizing look
10. If she’s not, stop looking at her face again, then pinch her somewhere more painful like near the armpit, and then stick in all the way through
11. Hold it for a while. Then pull it out, pinch her and stick it in again all the way .Then release the pinch
12. Repeat #11 and try to reach ejaculation as fast as possible
13. When you finish, hug her and say “I love you” again but more tender than when you were saying it over and over

After 5 minutes of hugging, get up, stand in front of the mirror and scream “Arrrrr….this village is mine!!!!!”

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