How to Ask for a Raise and Have Fun Doing It

1. Gather statistics.  Document your performance for the past 6 months and arrange it in a quantifiable manner.  You want to present numbers because everybody knows employers won’t bother verifying obfuscated math formulas and will often agree with your computations just to appear intelligent.  Bring in any statistics that will fall in your favor like how many sales, projects or tasks you’ve aced during the period and present a complex algebraic equation as to how you have derived them.  Of course, the complex math is optional but if you can wing it, doesn’t it make making more money twice as fun?

2. Check out salary ranges for your skillset.  Some of this will be available from the web, either from job hunting websites or professional organizations in your field.  Whatever is the highest figure you find, add 20 percent because you’re not average.  Otherwise, why will you be asking for a freaking increase?  When making your case, try to obliquely assert the reasons why your skills are unique to you even though everybody knows it’s not.  If you can successfully debate it, running out of rebutalls will compel anyone to accept your position eventually.

3. Make the pitch in accordance with how your company pays.  While you can ask for a higher salary than the CEO, it may not be the winningest idea in the pool.

4. Be open to compensation in terms of additional benefits or under-the-table bonuses.   Under-the-table rocks because you’re screwing the government and making more money at the same time.  You can then sing out, “I’m not paying for your war!” and actually have it mean something.:)

5. Be aware of your position in the organization.  Is your job dispensable?  Is there any part of your duties that only you, at this moment, can do?  You can use this as leverage which you can obliquely hint at later until they bring it up themselves.

6. Be prepared to walk.  Not all negotiations will end favorably and, more importantly, the power during the process will always be in the hands of that who has less attachment to a particular result. If this is not you, convince yourself that it is you.  During the meeting, sit with your body facing the door so you look like you’re ready to leave at the slightest provocation.  Otherwise, you’re fighting a losing battle.

7. When you do get the raise, try to come early at least for the next week.  You don’t want them to regret it so quickly, do you?