Don’t Be Mean To Yourself

Ever told yourself you were too fat or too thin?  Or too tall or too short?  Or any of the multitude of mean things people say behind others’ backs?

I was browsing through 43 Things  and found this little comment from a user named FlutterbyD that really touched a nerve:

Dear Body,

I am so sorry for putting you through six years of abuse. I never told you I loved you even when you were thin. Even then I said you were fat and not as pretty and attractive as the other girls in school. I am so sorry. By telling you that every day, every time I looked in the mirror I made you become that. I am so sorry. And I shoved food into you to compensate for aching emotions and that is not your burden to carry.

I would never tell a friend, a lover or a family member, or even a stranger, every day that they are fat and ugly. Yet I did it to you.

So, to my dear body, which still functions in all five bodily ways, I say sorry. I love you. I appreciate you. You ARE beautiful. I now choose to see you as that. I give you permission to work with me in letting go old negativity and in so doing, letting go of the unnecassary weight. To my body, I love you. You are gorgeous and perfect.

It was a great reminder how unfairly mean and critical we can be of ourselves at times.  Can you imagine telling your daughter how fat and ugly her body is every single day?  Or how dumb and stupid your kid brother is and if he keeps acting this way, he’ll never amount to anything?

You will never imagine shaming and verbally abusing a child that way, even another adult.  Yet so often we talk this way to ourselves.  It’s horrible and hurtful.  If someone came up to you and said that, don’t you feel like punching them in the nose?

If your lover came to you and spoke that way, would you still see them in the same light?  Will you still feel the same way for them the way you do now?

Think about how you are making yourself feel when you speak to yourself that way.  You can punch yourself in the nose but I doubt you’re compelled to go that route.  Unlike a lover, you can’t leave yourself either.  You’re stuck with same person you are for the rest of your life.  Choose to live it with the compassionate and understanding version of you.