How to Tell Jokes That Will Irritate the People Around You

In continuing the quest to help my readers exhibit even more bizaare and weird behavior, here’s 9 things you can look out for when trying to irritate those around you by being your funny self:

1. Laugh before the punchline. Laugh before you tell it. Laugh in the middle. Keep laughing without having said anything funny so that when you say something that’s supposed to be funny, it’s not.

2. Tell a funny insult about one of the people listening to you. Then follow it up with another.

3. Tell explicit, tired sex jokes then make hints about being a stud in bed. Then tell another explicit, tired sex joke. Do it over and over until everybody can tell you’re a sexually frustrated liar.

4. Make fun of the people who don’t tell jokes. Call them boring.

5. Make sexual innuendo your staple comedy routine. Then make hints about being a stud in bed. Do it over and over until everybody can tell you’re a sexually frustrated liar.

6. Make fun of the disabled.

7. Be the loud, obnoxious joker in the room. Then get pissed off when someone takes a jab at you.

8. Make sick jokes your staple comedy routine. Keep an arsenal of fart, bukkake, shit, gore and piss jokes and tell them all the time, especially when people are eating.

9. When people say nicely that your joke is disgusting, make a mental note that it means “They loved it and they want more!”