Setiing Goals

It’s been said time and again in almost every reasonably good book about goal-setting: Once the goal has been set, let it happen. Don’t force it, don’t be attached to the outcome, don’t lust for results.

The problem, time and again, for regular people, is this creates a paradox. How can I aim towards something, yet make myself not need it? How can I set a goal and then not wait for my results? The reason I gave up goal-setting some years ago is precisely because of this. When I set a goal and I haven’t achieved it after some time has passed, I become restless. “Fuck this shit, it’s not happening, what else can I do?”

Growing up in a society where instant gratification is cultivated, the concept of detaching from the outcome made no sense to me.

How I Let Go

I use a simple process for letting go that has worked for me. Maybe it won’t work the same for others but worth the try. It’s a combination of various suggestions from different sources but it all came together and started working after listening to a suggestion in a podcast from Jedi Trainer.

1. When I set goals, I am often very excited and imagine all sorts of things about the end result - how much it will change my life, benefit my family, make me happier, make people look up to me, etc.
2. Instead of focusing on those things, I focused on excitedly asking myself a question: “I wonder how this goal will unfold?”
3. Then of course, my answer is, “I’m not sure….”
4. While my goals are pretty certain (I have exact outcomes in mind,) the process of how it will happen often is not.
5. When I try to imagine the answer in my head, it’s always a blank slate or an abstract image
6. For some reason, I feel excited with this. I feel genuinely curious to know how it will happen.  And because there are no set parameters how it will unfold, I only notice them when they already happen.
7. Results for me: little worries about the end-result, plenty of enjoyment from discovering how i’m slowly getting there and a real appreciation for all the little blessings I receive along the way.

Warrior Diet has been great. Lost another 3.5 lbs this week. With no real exercise whatsoever. I’m saying no real exercise because while I do squats, sit-ups and hindu push-ups a few minutes most mornings, it’s nothing regular or planned. I think I’m sticking with this diet for at least the next six months. As before, the energy boost is incredible.

One downside is the Sleep Experiment I was planning for this week. I failed. Being on the Warrior Diet seems to have normalized my sleeping patterns - I wake up early (around 6 to 7, very early for me) and I sleep very easily at night (10pm, my eyes are already falling). This, from someone who normally went to bed between 1am to 4am almost every day since I was in 4th grade, when my mom put our old TV in my room.

When Hofmekler said that the Warrior diet is the body’s normal nourishing pattern and regularizing the body’s diet will regularize your other bodily cycles, I never imagined it will actually fix my sleeping habits. Fucking A!!!!!!!!

Sadly, I will be putting the Every Other Day Sleep Experiment to rest. I’m enjoying my current “normal” sleeping cycle and I’ll see how this pans out.

I can’t stand talking to someone being arrogant.  Most of the time, even someone just mildly boasting.  Or someone having a laugh at someone else’s expense just trying to raise their own value.   When I get that, I pull out my Level 1 Defense:

1. Turn my back  - it doesn’t matter if you face a wall when you turn, just turn, it shuts people up

2. Look behind them - again, doesn’t matter if it’s just air behind them, it breaks their pattern and the thread often stops

3. Go crosseyed - this one’s hilarious, they don’t know what’s going on and it breaks the thread

4. Yawn.  In their face. Sometimes, it makes them yawn too. If they do, turn your back.

5. Look **intensely** in one eye like the answer to world peace sits right there - this intimidates the half-ass boaster enough to shut up

Professional boasters and bullshit artists usually ignore your ignoring.  They’re so used to people ignoring their bullshit that they learned to continue until the victim relents.   In these cases, pull out the Level 2 Assault:

1. Be condescending and patronizing - Say “Wow you are the coolest!” or “Wow you are sooo correct! Brilliant!”

2. Be stupid - Pretend you don’t understand. Always say, “What does it mean?” and “Can you explain more clearly?”  Bullshit counts on the listener making assumptions based on the bullshitter’s suggestions and hints. When you don’t make assumptions, they are forced to make up more and more shit until they surrender.