Someone Boasting

I can’t stand talking to someone being arrogant.  Most of the time, even someone just mildly boasting.  Or someone having a laugh at someone else’s expense just trying to raise their own value.   When I get that, I pull out my Level 1 Defense:

1. Turn my back  - it doesn’t matter if you face a wall when you turn, just turn, it shuts people up

2. Look behind them - again, doesn’t matter if it’s just air behind them, it breaks their pattern and the thread often stops

3. Go crosseyed - this one’s hilarious, they don’t know what’s going on and it breaks the thread

4. Yawn.  In their face. Sometimes, it makes them yawn too. If they do, turn your back.

5. Look **intensely** in one eye like the answer to world peace sits right there - this intimidates the half-ass boaster enough to shut up

Professional boasters and bullshit artists usually ignore your ignoring.  They’re so used to people ignoring their bullshit that they learned to continue until the victim relents.   In these cases, pull out the Level 2 Assault:

1. Be condescending and patronizing - Say “Wow you are the coolest!” or “Wow you are sooo correct! Brilliant!”

2. Be stupid - Pretend you don’t understand. Always say, “What does it mean?” and “Can you explain more clearly?”  Bullshit counts on the listener making assumptions based on the bullshitter’s suggestions and hints. When you don’t make assumptions, they are forced to make up more and more shit until they surrender.